Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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