i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
