So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
