I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
