I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize