he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
