I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
