a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
