Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
