They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
