i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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