i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
