i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
