You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
