oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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