I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
