Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
