last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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