Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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