Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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