Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
