I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
