last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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