things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
