the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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