I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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