I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
