I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
