I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
