I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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