how hairy? two words: wookie tits
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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