u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize