how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
