And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize