You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
