Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
