Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
