Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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