Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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