I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just gargled with NyQuil
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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