So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
