hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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