why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
