I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
