Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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