Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
