He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
