id be glad to
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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