1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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