youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
