"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
