Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At least life still wants to fuck me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
