You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Randomize
