she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
