WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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