He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize