Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
