PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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