If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize