I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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