o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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