he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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