Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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