Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize