Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
