Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
